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@@@@@He knew also at this moment that out of all
@@@@@He knew also at this moment that out of all the reasons why he had begun to quarrel with Conn in officers' mess, one of the vital ones had been that he was afraid of not really caring enough about what Conn was sayingIt was true of too many of his reactionsAnd since his direct self-interest could only move him back toward the ideas of his father, there was no other direction for him to turn, unless there was some other emotional basis for continuing in his particular isolated position on the LeftFor a long time he had thought there was one, for even a longer period he had sustained his politics because his friends and acquaintances in New York assumed them as a matter of course, but now in the isolation of the Army, under the searching critique of the General's mind, his fingers were being pulled from the chinning bar
He walked back to the recreation tent and went insideRafferty had filled the lamps and lit them, and already the evening influx of officers had begunTwo card games had been started, and several of the officers were beginning to use the writing tables
"Hey, Hearn, you want to come in on some poker?" It was Mantelli, one of Hearn's few friends in the headquarters Hearn pulled up a chairSince the tent had been set up, Hearn had spent his evenings here in unstated defiance of the GeneralActually he found it dull and uncomfortable, for it became tremendously hot inside and the air filled quickly with cigarette and cigar smoke, but this was a part of the continual sparring that went on between the General and himselfThe General had wanted him to build the tent -- all right, he would use itBut, tonight, after his realization about Rafferty, the idea of seeing the General gave Hearn an intimation of dreadThere had been very few people he ever feared, but he was beginning to think he was afraid of the GeneralThe cards came around to him, and he shuffled them and dealt, playing mechanically without much interestHe could feel himself perspiring already, and he stripped his shirt and hung it on the back of his chairIt went this way every eveningBy eleven o'clock virtually all the officers were in their undershirts, and the tent stank of sweat and smoke
"Those cards are gonna be hot for me tonight Mantelli grinned, his small mouth twisted around a cigar
The babel of chatter was dense already, saturated in the smokeSomewhere, far off in the jungle, some artillery fired once, the sound thudding in Hearn's head like a jaded angry nerveDivision's nightly smoker, he muttered to himself
He had played only a few hands with moderate luck when there was an interruptionThe General for the first time had come into the tent |